Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
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