My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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