I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
