I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
