this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
tell me about the eggs
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize