I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
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