please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Randomize
