You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Randomize
