Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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