he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Randomize
