Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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