i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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