Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize