Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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