I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Randomize
