covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
