What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
