I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
