Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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