You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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