chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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