yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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