What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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