It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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