so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
