I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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