Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
