i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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