I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
