Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
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