So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
