physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
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