Pappa wants mamma naked
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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