I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Those nachos came to me in a dream
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
