Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
