Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
