i'm signing you up for texting rehab
from now on my penis is your penis
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
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