I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
