She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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