youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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