PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Randomize
