she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize