There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
