I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Randomize
