I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
