Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
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