i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
