This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Randomize
