i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
We need to get me chipped asap
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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