you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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