if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Randomize