Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
