Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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