I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Randomize