At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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