Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
