she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
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