where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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