in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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