He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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