Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
