dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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