ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
not ubering you a puppy
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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